Oops!

I accidentally posted one of my Brownssanity posts here, and haven't yet found a way to relocate it.

It might be just as well, since it should prove that my suicidal tendancies have nothing whatsoever to do with a "chemical imbalance" in my brain or something.

That's Korena: After everything she had put me though, and the contract she had dictated to me, and all the years I had worked with her, my attempted suicide looked like a "chemical imbalance" to her!

Somehow, she managed to never KNOW me!  She fucking DRIVES me to kill myself, and then tells me to go to the VA to fix myself!!!

Nothing is EVER her fault!  She is NEVER wrong!  Or remorseful.  She has never admitted that she was wrong (let alone apologized) since I met her.

There is a WHOLE LOT WRONG with her.

You guys will detect it almost instantly if you have to deal with her.  She'll try to pretend to be reasonable at first, but she'll lose her mind as soon as you question her beyond her intitial distortions and lies.

And listen, Ed: She is utterly amoral.  She just might sue YOU over the debt my suicide might leave her with! Korena has no moral compass.

I can't tell you how many times she's compelled me to lie for her...I'm not a liar--she's tortured me that way, and (narcissistic projection) seems to think I'm as dishonest as she is!

Anyway, I'm the same guy I always was. I should still have 500 bucks when I get back in my truck.  I will restore my hidden cooler (shh!) and buy some food.  

I might even pay my Sprint bill on time (we'll see). And I'll run my ass off, as usual.

But the math says that paying off this new debt will drive me under, and I won't accept it.

Suicide is easy.  I can take or leave it.  It beats prison or homelessness, and obviously I have no hope of ever repaying you, my beloved brother.

It's not "clinical".  It's simply a logical option for me, to escape further agony and, by the way, free YOU GUYS of at least worrying about me!

Unmistakably, Korena put me here.  I should have been able to pay this debt off.  I should have a laptop, and you should have been paid in full.

Most company drivers have homes or apartments.  Cars.  Families.  And after three years, I'm still here?

Sue HER.