Robert: I'm Going to Tell You Something:

I have an outsranding balance with clc (about 375.00) for some of my hotel bills.  I'll have to call them and Sprint tomorrow to "make arrangements.

I'm 5 months delinquent on my Corporate fees and UPS Box.

Please minimize my weekly payments and defer the first two.

I can't fathom how I'm still here.

I sent the above email to Korena/Kate this morning after I got the email from CLC.  Predictably, she called me 5 minutes later with "Robert:  I'm going to tell you something: blahblah sick of your attitude blahblah"

And I lost it too.  Ed remember Mom and Dad?  I never had to out-shout anybody like that, including Teri, in my whole life--ever--except for that evil vicious bitch!

She hung up on me.  That's a victory, since I'm not ALLOWED to hang up on her.  I have to listen to the lengthy conclusion of her irrational, dishonest RANT and answer her "is that understood" with a meek "yes".

Ed I owe you 10k and you probably have some cause here:

I can't prove that she promised me 48 cents/mile but can tell you that company drivers are not supposed to pay for hotels during repairs.  The truck owner is (or should be) responsible for putting the driver in the hotel when the truck is down.

Forcing him to spend his own money on top of his lost revenues amounts to THEFT.  I'm in essence paying some of the expenses directly related to HER truck!!!

I refer not to this latest disaster, as I caused this damage to HER truck, but of all the other times I've been forced into hotels near New Castle or Newark DE waiting for repairs:

Most of which I could have had done cheaper and faster on the road.  She doesn't trust anyone (including ME, of course: you know how sneaky and selfish I am), and uses Bergeys exlusively because she gets to look them in the eye when she pays her bill).

Bergeys is the place that blames ECU malfunctions and starter failures on my electric cooler!  The ECU required a tow and I had to hit a hotel in New York.  Then a broken battery cable cost me another day in Indiana.  And it was loose battery cables all along.

But I pick up the truck and she asks me "you don't have a refrigerator or anything" my GOD:!$%×÷,?)&:€!!! Anyhow that fucking cooler thing and the unadulterated INSANITY of her and this situation has a lot to do with my current state of mind.

I've never met a less reasonable or rational person in my life, and that INCLUDES when I ran the psyche pod at the County Jail!

Anyhow yeah 40 cents a mile AND hotels when being repaired TOO see why I'm fucking broke and still hit fucking bars anyway?

Oh, and they had withheld a paycheck from me, which I might get tomorrow.  Maybe.

For the first couple days so far I got 2 for 1.00 hot dogs at Speedway.  That and some almonds I had have fed me so far.  I got 10.00 in Pilot points today, and can use them for dollar mcDonalds and stuff.

But I'm way early for my trailer pickup tomorrow so I'll go to Ruby Tuesdays now.

UPDATE: I blew 60 bucks getting hammered (and fed) at Ruby Tuesdays.  I do not feel guilty at all. 

I will NOT be homeless again.  I will NOT go back to where I was.  I have accepted suicide as my last resort, and will LIVE as well as I can (as pitiful as that is) until then.

I will fight, until the end...