I asked about the missing paycheck from FOUR WEEKS AGO (allegedly lost in the mail like several others) and Korena called to tell me how sick she was of MY bullshit and tell me that her sister Kate had at long last deigned to mail that one along with my current one last friday, now that I'm almost broke again.
I won't see any of that til next week. I'll have to put Sprint off again and renegotiate with the bill collectors again because I can't even afford that 100.00 payment. I also owe (long story but I got screwed) another 425.00 on an air-gun I ran over (after being told I was clear to pull out goddammit) so I gotta put them off too.
If you owed somebody money, and they were in deep shit, wouldn't you have rectified this a week or so ago?
And Kate lives in Lancaster PA. She's SURROUNDED by branches of my bank! She probably drives farther to the grocery store! And SHE nixed direct deposit!!!
Anyway now (for some strange reason) she emails me that "trucks will be home in Delaware Thanksgiving week".
Industry standard: Over the road truckers are ALL allotted "home time", which accrues at 1 day/week. Most otr truckers get home every 2-3 weeks.
I NEVER asked for home time. I went TEN MONTHS before I last picked up my mail.
...Do you get this? Can you see how irrational, cruel, immature, shallow, sadistic, and EVIL these people are?
I have my faults, but do I deserve this? Would you PAY to torture me (or "put me in my place" or whatever)?
I was tempted to kill myself as soon as I read that email. Korena is stamping her foot (on my head) and having another temper-tantrum. She'll show me who's boss!
Again. Because I asked for a 4-week old check. Because I (see last post). Because she's a Jerry Springer fan and loves dramatic shouting matches and lacks empathy, compassion, or a soul...
God help me.
Sunday, November 10, 2019
Friday, November 8, 2019
I’m Done. Well it’s Getting Closer.
"YOU'RE DONE!"
Maybe I am. After again being shut down for the weekend (I couldn't refuel til sunday...as of THURSDAY), Kate assigns me a load to pick up in NJ today (friday) and deliver 890 miles away near Chicago at 0800 monday.
I was already out of fuel, despite being generously allowed up to 50.00 worth emergency fuel on THURSDAY, after my agonizing delivery on the outskirts of Philly.
I had been working on a hyper-diplomatic way to get it through to Kate and Korena that they (not Falcon Transport--who they blame for this insane and unprecedented fuel restriction) have cost themselves a load per week and a net weekly profit over that last fuel purchase and my pay.
(You get it, right? It's not just over any 2-week period, but WEEKLY).
Meanwhile, Kate announced to me that my latest check had been mailed. No mention of the check from 3 weeks ago which, like HALF of my paychecks, have been lost in the mail.
No response yet. I'm guessing they hope I'll give up on it.
Anyhow, today I got this latest of many illegal load assignments and called Korena to object.
Long story short she called me a whiney bitch, said she was sick of my blahblah again, and said it was only merely 770 miles so (actually it was 890. I corrected her and there's a whole NEW screaming match--she won't accept the truth.)
Ah crap it's deep for you guys, but not for any OTR trucker, load coordinator, or dispatcher (so ask them):
Korena is at least as deceptive as Hillary Clinton. She has zero honor. She is irrational and governed by her emotions. She has never admitted that she was wrong about anything, or apologized to me.
Anyhoo, she and her sister also think I'm an idiot, because (my bad) to avoid their Jerry Springer show crap I pretended to believe that it was Falcon Transport and not them who decided to shut me down (for 2-3 days) every weekend with rediculous "you can't fuel until sunday" restrictions.
That's correct: I could easily have run this load and watched the Browns game too on planet Earth. Had I been allowed to top off on thursday THURSDAY mind you no sweat, and she would have got that settlement monday and netted more money but noooo!
It's obviously Korena. OCD is only one of several of her disorders. She can't STAND that I might spend 600 or so bucks on fuel near the end of a pay period...
I get it, but can't...she's insane, ok? No that's not an expression. Korena is literally insane, ok?
I defended myself and sent her the Googlemaps route which matched her own (888 miles) and asked her how tf I was to do that legally without fueling til sunday...
As it is, I know she'll (someday, eventually) short me 100 miles on this (eventual late) paycheck, but more immediately called ME a lunatic!!!
Guys, I can't take this shit.
They cancelled direct deposit so they could pay me late (or never) and blame the Postal Service for losing HALF my paychecks, and as we speak they're hoping I'll get tired of asking about the most recent missing one.
If I kill myself get what I owe you out of Korena, Ed.
...I know I know, you're like me, and I heard you. It's up to you, but consult an attorney before you write this off.
She screwed me over. She tortured me. She ripped me off. She ruined my life (see how she handled my tax situation: Took all my receipts to the IRS, committed me to paying off that preposterous charge at 250.00/ week for the rest of my life, telling me the 250/week payments were for bookkeeping (instead of payments to the IRS goddammit).
This soulless inhuman monster exploited me ruthlessly. This is not hyperbole. Any serious investigation will turn up other victims, and...
It’s up to you Ed, because right now it’s not if, but when, I kill myself.
I'm a lunatic...wowzers!
Maybe I am. After again being shut down for the weekend (I couldn't refuel til sunday...as of THURSDAY), Kate assigns me a load to pick up in NJ today (friday) and deliver 890 miles away near Chicago at 0800 monday.
I was already out of fuel, despite being generously allowed up to 50.00 worth emergency fuel on THURSDAY, after my agonizing delivery on the outskirts of Philly.
I had been working on a hyper-diplomatic way to get it through to Kate and Korena that they (not Falcon Transport--who they blame for this insane and unprecedented fuel restriction) have cost themselves a load per week and a net weekly profit over that last fuel purchase and my pay.
(You get it, right? It's not just over any 2-week period, but WEEKLY).
Meanwhile, Kate announced to me that my latest check had been mailed. No mention of the check from 3 weeks ago which, like HALF of my paychecks, have been lost in the mail.
No response yet. I'm guessing they hope I'll give up on it.
Anyhow, today I got this latest of many illegal load assignments and called Korena to object.
Long story short she called me a whiney bitch, said she was sick of my blahblah again, and said it was only merely 770 miles so (actually it was 890. I corrected her and there's a whole NEW screaming match--she won't accept the truth.)
Ah crap it's deep for you guys, but not for any OTR trucker, load coordinator, or dispatcher (so ask them):
Korena is at least as deceptive as Hillary Clinton. She has zero honor. She is irrational and governed by her emotions. She has never admitted that she was wrong about anything, or apologized to me.
Anyhoo, she and her sister also think I'm an idiot, because (my bad) to avoid their Jerry Springer show crap I pretended to believe that it was Falcon Transport and not them who decided to shut me down (for 2-3 days) every weekend with rediculous "you can't fuel until sunday" restrictions.
That's correct: I could easily have run this load and watched the Browns game too on planet Earth. Had I been allowed to top off on thursday THURSDAY mind you no sweat, and she would have got that settlement monday and netted more money but noooo!
It's obviously Korena. OCD is only one of several of her disorders. She can't STAND that I might spend 600 or so bucks on fuel near the end of a pay period...
I get it, but can't...she's insane, ok? No that's not an expression. Korena is literally insane, ok?
I defended myself and sent her the Googlemaps route which matched her own (888 miles) and asked her how tf I was to do that legally without fueling til sunday...
As it is, I know she'll (someday, eventually) short me 100 miles on this (eventual late) paycheck, but more immediately called ME a lunatic!!!
Guys, I can't take this shit.
They cancelled direct deposit so they could pay me late (or never) and blame the Postal Service for losing HALF my paychecks, and as we speak they're hoping I'll get tired of asking about the most recent missing one.
If I kill myself get what I owe you out of Korena, Ed.
...I know I know, you're like me, and I heard you. It's up to you, but consult an attorney before you write this off.
She screwed me over. She tortured me. She ripped me off. She ruined my life (see how she handled my tax situation: Took all my receipts to the IRS, committed me to paying off that preposterous charge at 250.00/ week for the rest of my life, telling me the 250/week payments were for bookkeeping (instead of payments to the IRS goddammit).
This soulless inhuman monster exploited me ruthlessly. This is not hyperbole. Any serious investigation will turn up other victims, and...
It’s up to you Ed, because right now it’s not if, but when, I kill myself.
I'm a lunatic...wowzers!
Monday, August 12, 2019
This is Hell. Owners Pay for Hotels when Trucks Get Fixed. Industry Standard.
Yes I went broke again paying for my own room while HER Truck was down for repairs. Then Kate skipped my cheapskate deposit on friday and made it saturday.
So I'm still broke until tomorrow (tuesday).
Because I was BROKE AGAIN i spent some of the toll advance money on food, thinking that by today I could just withdraw it and repay Korena.
Korena doesn't care that I was broke because of her and can't get my money because of her or that I was hungry...
I got a lot of stories like this, straight out of a Charles Dickens novel.
I thought she was firing me, which is why I started this post. I was going to die in her truck so they'd impound it.
I should have paid you back a long time ago and had a laptop and stuff. The hotels...well my clc account will have it; all the nights in Delaware were because of HER TRUCK getting fixed.
I mentioned that one hour of labor in that shop=2 nights in the hotel right?
Must be over 100 nights. AND they just pay me when they feel like it and yell at me when I come to them with my cardboard sign!?!
My god I was just going to hit an ATM and replace the money I'd spent and it was THEIR FAULT I couldn't this is hell.
This is hell.
So I'm still broke until tomorrow (tuesday).
Because I was BROKE AGAIN i spent some of the toll advance money on food, thinking that by today I could just withdraw it and repay Korena.
Korena doesn't care that I was broke because of her and can't get my money because of her or that I was hungry...
I got a lot of stories like this, straight out of a Charles Dickens novel.
I thought she was firing me, which is why I started this post. I was going to die in her truck so they'd impound it.
I should have paid you back a long time ago and had a laptop and stuff. The hotels...well my clc account will have it; all the nights in Delaware were because of HER TRUCK getting fixed.
I mentioned that one hour of labor in that shop=2 nights in the hotel right?
Must be over 100 nights. AND they just pay me when they feel like it and yell at me when I come to them with my cardboard sign!?!
My god I was just going to hit an ATM and replace the money I'd spent and it was THEIR FAULT I couldn't this is hell.
This is hell.
Tuesday, August 6, 2019
Screwed Again: Company Driver Paying for Hotel When Down for Repairs Again
Paying for hotel with truck in shop again:
Pennsylvania's DOT inspection standards are draconian, and less than 10 days after passing the Federal DOT inspection, HER truck failed on 6 counts.
I WAS HERE right after the Federal inspection last week, but Korena said nooo! Don't get it inspected!
Instead, I ran around some and DEADHEADED 450 miles back here to have these PA NAZIS tell me my truck sucks.
Predictably, Korena sent me to Bergeys in Greencastle De for all the repairs. Bergeys is stacked up (as usual) and won't even get the truck into the SHOP for several days (as usual)...
Meanwhile I just went broke off paying for my own hotel room for 7 days last week (and nearly getting kicked out on the street twice...begging and pleading goddammit...)
And getting screamed at and insulted by the bitch who did this to me...
ONE HOUR OF LABOR at her favorite shop costs TWO NIGHTS at my hotel! NO fleet owner or company makes their drivers pay for hotels when their trucks are down for repair!!!
Today, I found out that the place I recommended would take 3 hours to get me in for the inspection. I contacted 2 local shops in search of quicker alternatives before calling Korena.
I say "this one is this much but it's 3 hours, but I called KKK and---" "YOU TAKE THE TRUCK WHERE I TELL YOU TO TAKE IT" (read: BOY!)
Now here I am again at her designated slowpoke overloaded shop AGAIN one fucking day away from homelessness AGAIN...
ONE HOUR of Labor at Korena's ONLY shop=2 nights at this hotel. THINK about that!
Ed I know you bailed me out repeatedly and I owe you 10k. I know you just went through a lot of pain with a major operation.
I tried to support you and you...well I wish I could pay you back so I could yell at you for that "go Browns" stuff.
...well you won't read this til I'm dead, so maybe you'll hear me better now:
I GAVE A SHIT about what you went through. I CARED. (And thank you G for your in-depth coverage.)
I'm screwed, so I can't pay you back, but I'm not an asshole, and fuck anybody who calls me one. You don't want to trade places with me. I focus on the Browns to stay out of trouble.
GO BROWNSđź–•
Pennsylvania's DOT inspection standards are draconian, and less than 10 days after passing the Federal DOT inspection, HER truck failed on 6 counts.
I WAS HERE right after the Federal inspection last week, but Korena said nooo! Don't get it inspected!
Instead, I ran around some and DEADHEADED 450 miles back here to have these PA NAZIS tell me my truck sucks.
Predictably, Korena sent me to Bergeys in Greencastle De for all the repairs. Bergeys is stacked up (as usual) and won't even get the truck into the SHOP for several days (as usual)...
Meanwhile I just went broke off paying for my own hotel room for 7 days last week (and nearly getting kicked out on the street twice...begging and pleading goddammit...)
And getting screamed at and insulted by the bitch who did this to me...
ONE HOUR OF LABOR at her favorite shop costs TWO NIGHTS at my hotel! NO fleet owner or company makes their drivers pay for hotels when their trucks are down for repair!!!
Today, I found out that the place I recommended would take 3 hours to get me in for the inspection. I contacted 2 local shops in search of quicker alternatives before calling Korena.
I say "this one is this much but it's 3 hours, but I called KKK and---" "YOU TAKE THE TRUCK WHERE I TELL YOU TO TAKE IT" (read: BOY!)
Now here I am again at her designated slowpoke overloaded shop AGAIN one fucking day away from homelessness AGAIN...
ONE HOUR of Labor at Korena's ONLY shop=2 nights at this hotel. THINK about that!
Ed I know you bailed me out repeatedly and I owe you 10k. I know you just went through a lot of pain with a major operation.
I tried to support you and you...well I wish I could pay you back so I could yell at you for that "go Browns" stuff.
...well you won't read this til I'm dead, so maybe you'll hear me better now:
I GAVE A SHIT about what you went through. I CARED. (And thank you G for your in-depth coverage.)
I'm screwed, so I can't pay you back, but I'm not an asshole, and fuck anybody who calls me one. You don't want to trade places with me. I focus on the Browns to stay out of trouble.
GO BROWNSđź–•
Friday, July 26, 2019
Company Drivers Don't Pay for Hotels when Trucks are Being Repaired.
Back at the same hotel. This time the truck fan went haywire. I overheated because it wouldn't engage.
I cranked up my heaters and managed to make it to Bergies again despite heavy traffic, but just before I got there, the fan kicks on and won't stop!
So (this is friday night btw) I'm at the bar at 6 pm and Korena calls to tell me that Bergies will bypass something in the truck so that my fan will run all the time and all I have to do is drop in Georgia at 0600 sunday.
755 miles, 11.5 hours (for a car) as of 6 pm friday per Google maps. I email her this route and say "this is for cars".
Right on cue, 5 minutes later she calls me telling me how sick she is of my "bullshit", and I went right back at her.
She's saying shit like technically I got lots of time but I'm telling her I paid for MY hotel room already while HER truck was down for repairs and goddammit I'm going to STAY here overnight.
I of course had to outshout her again to add that okay despite getting screwed again with another hotel bill I would break the law AGAIN FOR HER and get it done.
In this fucked-up shouting match such as I have never had with any other person in my life, she's saying shit like all I have to do is leave at 6 am then...I dunno restart at 4 am?
Fuck I spent 32 bucks on UBER and 50 for my hotel. I get here at 4 pm and now on top of that...
I remind you: COMPANY DRIVERS DON'T PAY FOR HOTELS OR TRANSPORTATION WHEN DOWN FOR REPAIRS...except ME.
Anyway when I walk back in the bar, this woman asks me "are you allright?", and I realize that I'd been shouting and stamping around like a psychopath. I had to cash out, because everybody around me was freaked out.
You guys know me. Do you see what this monster has done to me?
Anyway I will get this trailer to Georgia tommorrow night despite the illegality of it and somehow manage the additional illegality she has piled on me because I need to save up for my fucking hotel bill when I get back here for the fucking fan repair (if I don't kill myself first).
Sorry to lay this on you because you think you want to save me and think you can help me etc. Don't worry about it--you've seen too many movies.
I'm not a moron and I don't need help. I'm only writing this stuff in the hopes that Ed can sue her for the 10k I still owe him.
Oh crap the Tax Resolution people call me relentlessly great advice guys! All I need is 7.5k to get it STARTED, and they can't grasp that I will NEVER have that money but they just...keep...calling!!!
And the reviews all say they take the front money and don't do shit.
If I ever show up again, guys, leave that alone. You just don't get this. You don't hear me. You can't help me. Leave it alone and stop insulting me.
Say "he wasn't an asshole" when I'm gone.
I cranked up my heaters and managed to make it to Bergies again despite heavy traffic, but just before I got there, the fan kicks on and won't stop!
So (this is friday night btw) I'm at the bar at 6 pm and Korena calls to tell me that Bergies will bypass something in the truck so that my fan will run all the time and all I have to do is drop in Georgia at 0600 sunday.
755 miles, 11.5 hours (for a car) as of 6 pm friday per Google maps. I email her this route and say "this is for cars".
Right on cue, 5 minutes later she calls me telling me how sick she is of my "bullshit", and I went right back at her.
She's saying shit like technically I got lots of time but I'm telling her I paid for MY hotel room already while HER truck was down for repairs and goddammit I'm going to STAY here overnight.
I of course had to outshout her again to add that okay despite getting screwed again with another hotel bill I would break the law AGAIN FOR HER and get it done.
In this fucked-up shouting match such as I have never had with any other person in my life, she's saying shit like all I have to do is leave at 6 am then...I dunno restart at 4 am?
Fuck I spent 32 bucks on UBER and 50 for my hotel. I get here at 4 pm and now on top of that...
I remind you: COMPANY DRIVERS DON'T PAY FOR HOTELS OR TRANSPORTATION WHEN DOWN FOR REPAIRS...except ME.
Anyway when I walk back in the bar, this woman asks me "are you allright?", and I realize that I'd been shouting and stamping around like a psychopath. I had to cash out, because everybody around me was freaked out.
You guys know me. Do you see what this monster has done to me?
Anyway I will get this trailer to Georgia tommorrow night despite the illegality of it and somehow manage the additional illegality she has piled on me because I need to save up for my fucking hotel bill when I get back here for the fucking fan repair (if I don't kill myself first).
Sorry to lay this on you because you think you want to save me and think you can help me etc. Don't worry about it--you've seen too many movies.
I'm not a moron and I don't need help. I'm only writing this stuff in the hopes that Ed can sue her for the 10k I still owe him.
Oh crap the Tax Resolution people call me relentlessly great advice guys! All I need is 7.5k to get it STARTED, and they can't grasp that I will NEVER have that money but they just...keep...calling!!!
And the reviews all say they take the front money and don't do shit.
If I ever show up again, guys, leave that alone. You just don't get this. You don't hear me. You can't help me. Leave it alone and stop insulting me.
Say "he wasn't an asshole" when I'm gone.
Thursday, April 18, 2019
It NEVER STOPS
That's it. Another overdraft fee, and she's charging me 500.00/week. My alleged check was 355.00.
She screamed at me some more and she's gouging me 8600.00 for the damage I did.
My god she's bitching at ME for HER financial problems!
And she's lying about the checks having been mailed and about the bank.
NOW I'm supposed to drop the truck at Bergeys and pay for 3 days at a hotel while they work on it!!!
I've probably got to pull the plug. She says she'll go to the bank "again" today so I might have barely enough. Maybe.
"It's never that bad" "There's always hope" bullshit, man.
Since were screaming I told her I'm sick of being desperate every fucking day and being in worse trouble now than I was over three years ago and paying for hotel rooms while being fixed and getting paid 40 cpm instead of 48.
Seriously Ed you got 10k coming. At least check with a lawyer about getting it from her. The OWNER of a truck should be responsible for hotels while the truck. Why should an EMPLOYEE be forced to pay for them, on top of losing productive miles?
And again, it just has to be Bergeys, right? When I could get this stuff fixed faster and cheaper at one of 15-20 places I've been to as an owner-operator.
See this? Three days at a hotel for me. I might do it, man. In her truck. I'm really really close.
She screamed at me some more and she's gouging me 8600.00 for the damage I did.
My god she's bitching at ME for HER financial problems!
And she's lying about the checks having been mailed and about the bank.
NOW I'm supposed to drop the truck at Bergeys and pay for 3 days at a hotel while they work on it!!!
I've probably got to pull the plug. She says she'll go to the bank "again" today so I might have barely enough. Maybe.
"It's never that bad" "There's always hope" bullshit, man.
Since were screaming I told her I'm sick of being desperate every fucking day and being in worse trouble now than I was over three years ago and paying for hotel rooms while being fixed and getting paid 40 cpm instead of 48.
Seriously Ed you got 10k coming. At least check with a lawyer about getting it from her. The OWNER of a truck should be responsible for hotels while the truck. Why should an EMPLOYEE be forced to pay for them, on top of losing productive miles?
And again, it just has to be Bergeys, right? When I could get this stuff fixed faster and cheaper at one of 15-20 places I've been to as an owner-operator.
See this? Three days at a hotel for me. I might do it, man. In her truck. I'm really really close.
Tuesday, April 16, 2019
Yep. It's Worse. As Usual. You've Got to Crawl Before You Can...Die.
My bank just hit me with an overdraft charge.
Korena insisted that Kate had mailed 2 checks...but upon further investigation, niether had been cashed.
Korena (sigh) wasn't about to drive "up there" to do anything about it today, but (sigh) promised to stop by my bank tomorrow "between meetings".
She made sure to tell me that I don't care that she had to take out a 10k loan for the damage I did and to remind me that I'm going to pay for that and I asked her why she had to keep insulting me and if she was going to try to screw me out of 10k instead of the REAL damages and of course she blabbered and evaded as usual...
She really thinks I'm an idiot, because I don't CONSTANTLY nail her on every chickenshit lie (or THEFT); because I'm not living in a fake reality show like she is...
Anyhow I'm shit to her. The only reason she's being marginally civil to me is the fact that I threatened to kill myself IN HER TRUCK.
It would be impounded. She'd have to retrieve it (after a few weeks) and find another driver (and PAY him decently, and cover his hotel bills when he's down for repairs).
And she wouldn't get her repairs paid for...except...she knows about YOU, Ed!
Don't put it past her. And in reality, I repeat:
If she had paid me the 48 cpm she promised and covered my hotel bills when I was down for repairs you would have been repaid over a year ago and I would have had a laptop and trucker routing and you know...not be in collections or under threat to get cut off or deeper in debt than I was when I tried to hang myself and five months overdue with Nevada and UPS as usual:
Dammit go after HER! SUE her! Instead of resolving my tax situation she commited me to paying them every penny they claimed I owed them!
Right there, I became her SLAVE, and she KNEW it, and exploited it ruthlessly.
You never got your money back because she screwed me financially. I don't have a mortgage, car payments, rent, tuition--god dammit GIVE ME some time at bars what tf ELSE is there left to me!?!
I'm sick of it, man! On the ropes for over four years. Ducking, clinching, sneezing blood, trying to just fucking stay ALIVE---and this aint "Rocky".
I'm 63. There is no way out. Nobody to knock out...no chance.
Well ok let's see if Korena remembers to stop by my bank tomorrow and throw me some crumbs. I'll hang in as long as I can.
Wow. No laptop. No Civ 5. No trucker routing. Wow. Would YOU want this?
I wish I could talk to you about this, but I can't. "Oh no you don't want to do that it's never that bad blahblah" and (worse) advice on fixing my tax problems...you people don't seem able to comprehend BROKE.
Nevermind I appreciate your concern (not to mention your 10k).
...okbye.
Korena insisted that Kate had mailed 2 checks...but upon further investigation, niether had been cashed.
Korena (sigh) wasn't about to drive "up there" to do anything about it today, but (sigh) promised to stop by my bank tomorrow "between meetings".
She made sure to tell me that I don't care that she had to take out a 10k loan for the damage I did and to remind me that I'm going to pay for that and I asked her why she had to keep insulting me and if she was going to try to screw me out of 10k instead of the REAL damages and of course she blabbered and evaded as usual...
She really thinks I'm an idiot, because I don't CONSTANTLY nail her on every chickenshit lie (or THEFT); because I'm not living in a fake reality show like she is...
Anyhow I'm shit to her. The only reason she's being marginally civil to me is the fact that I threatened to kill myself IN HER TRUCK.
It would be impounded. She'd have to retrieve it (after a few weeks) and find another driver (and PAY him decently, and cover his hotel bills when he's down for repairs).
And she wouldn't get her repairs paid for...except...she knows about YOU, Ed!
Don't put it past her. And in reality, I repeat:
If she had paid me the 48 cpm she promised and covered my hotel bills when I was down for repairs you would have been repaid over a year ago and I would have had a laptop and trucker routing and you know...not be in collections or under threat to get cut off or deeper in debt than I was when I tried to hang myself and five months overdue with Nevada and UPS as usual:
Dammit go after HER! SUE her! Instead of resolving my tax situation she commited me to paying them every penny they claimed I owed them!
Right there, I became her SLAVE, and she KNEW it, and exploited it ruthlessly.
You never got your money back because she screwed me financially. I don't have a mortgage, car payments, rent, tuition--god dammit GIVE ME some time at bars what tf ELSE is there left to me!?!
I'm sick of it, man! On the ropes for over four years. Ducking, clinching, sneezing blood, trying to just fucking stay ALIVE---and this aint "Rocky".
I'm 63. There is no way out. Nobody to knock out...no chance.
Well ok let's see if Korena remembers to stop by my bank tomorrow and throw me some crumbs. I'll hang in as long as I can.
Wow. No laptop. No Civ 5. No trucker routing. Wow. Would YOU want this?
I wish I could talk to you about this, but I can't. "Oh no you don't want to do that it's never that bad blahblah" and (worse) advice on fixing my tax problems...you people don't seem able to comprehend BROKE.
Nevermind I appreciate your concern (not to mention your 10k).
...okbye.
Friday, April 12, 2019
Broke AGAIN
Amazing. My check was allegedly mailed to my bank a WEEK ago and I'm dead broke AGAIN!!!
I had to put off 187.00 to Sprint to a drop-dead 4/19 and owe another 200 on the 25th. My 100.00 collection payment due the 15th will probably bounce, and I still owe over 1100.00 for my UPS Box and Nevada fees now 5 months past due!
Jesus I emailed them about this and I know she's going to call me and scream at me about my "shitty attitude" again! It's all MY fault TOO!!!
What tf am I supposed to do? They were going to reinstate my direct deposit (and make ME pay for it) but decided to mail the checks instead of stopping by my bank once a week.
I PICKED that bank BECAUSE it was close to them and convenient for them. It's one of those Korena RECOMMENDED.
Hopefully after she yells and screams at me somebody will drag themselves all the way to one of the FNB's surrounding them and make a fucking deposit.
This is my "life" now? I'm all but dead except for a pulse. The stress...God it just never stops. Ever.
Update: "I'm not home and niether is Kate. There's nothing we can do. I'll see if I can get money put on your fuel card".
Notice anything? No apology. No explanation. Screw you, Robert.
Yeah I found 200.00 on my card when I fueled. And the 50.00 that had been on it for tolls was gone. So I'll be another 38.00 out of pocket when I deliver.
GODDAMMIT I HAVE TO FIGHT FOR EVERY LAST FUCKING CRUMB EVERY FUCKING GOD DAMN DAY!
I had to put off 187.00 to Sprint to a drop-dead 4/19 and owe another 200 on the 25th. My 100.00 collection payment due the 15th will probably bounce, and I still owe over 1100.00 for my UPS Box and Nevada fees now 5 months past due!
Jesus I emailed them about this and I know she's going to call me and scream at me about my "shitty attitude" again! It's all MY fault TOO!!!
What tf am I supposed to do? They were going to reinstate my direct deposit (and make ME pay for it) but decided to mail the checks instead of stopping by my bank once a week.
I PICKED that bank BECAUSE it was close to them and convenient for them. It's one of those Korena RECOMMENDED.
Hopefully after she yells and screams at me somebody will drag themselves all the way to one of the FNB's surrounding them and make a fucking deposit.
This is my "life" now? I'm all but dead except for a pulse. The stress...God it just never stops. Ever.
Update: "I'm not home and niether is Kate. There's nothing we can do. I'll see if I can get money put on your fuel card".
Notice anything? No apology. No explanation. Screw you, Robert.
Yeah I found 200.00 on my card when I fueled. And the 50.00 that had been on it for tolls was gone. So I'll be another 38.00 out of pocket when I deliver.
GODDAMMIT I HAVE TO FIGHT FOR EVERY LAST FUCKING CRUMB EVERY FUCKING GOD DAMN DAY!
And I'll be signing my payment agreement and direct deposit
Sunday, March 31, 2019
Still Technically Alive
I hit Applebees in Conway SC (37 bucks inc tip). NOT SORRY.
(Hey Ed, you should hear the theme from MASH as you read these posts. Great LYRICS).
I will live (not survive) as long as I can.
I will NOT become a parasite again. I'm too old to "disappear" into the wilderness, and have decided against Club Fed because I can't hit bars there.
I haven't talked to you guys about this because you'd reflexively blabber all that "never the answer" garbage at me, or (worse yet) offer me more money.
If I kill myself, it's partly for you guys. I'm in a hopeless death-spiral, but you might spazz out and hurt yourselves even more to add more of your money to the toilet-bowl swirl in order to keep me alive and miserable for awhile longer.
Jeez we rarely talk except about the Browns. I rarely see you. I barely know your kids. You'll barely MISS me!
No whining in there: Just sayin I GET it, and all of that is on me.
I'm a vet and entitled to burial on the VA, but just burn my corpse and flush the ashes down a terlet for all I care....
Well ok dump them in a forest instead so they can feed plants and stuff...
I'm a failure. That's a fact.
I wish I could go back and focus on singing/songwriting--I definitely had those gifts--but well...maybe I'll pull it off if I get recycled (as I suspect I will be).
Oh dammit I might be born in Iran and brainwashed---ok maybe I'll be a dog or a cow oknevermind...
I'm still here so far so okbye
(Hey Ed, you should hear the theme from MASH as you read these posts. Great LYRICS).
I will live (not survive) as long as I can.
I will NOT become a parasite again. I'm too old to "disappear" into the wilderness, and have decided against Club Fed because I can't hit bars there.
I haven't talked to you guys about this because you'd reflexively blabber all that "never the answer" garbage at me, or (worse yet) offer me more money.
If I kill myself, it's partly for you guys. I'm in a hopeless death-spiral, but you might spazz out and hurt yourselves even more to add more of your money to the toilet-bowl swirl in order to keep me alive and miserable for awhile longer.
Jeez we rarely talk except about the Browns. I rarely see you. I barely know your kids. You'll barely MISS me!
No whining in there: Just sayin I GET it, and all of that is on me.
I'm a vet and entitled to burial on the VA, but just burn my corpse and flush the ashes down a terlet for all I care....
Well ok dump them in a forest instead so they can feed plants and stuff...
I'm a failure. That's a fact.
I wish I could go back and focus on singing/songwriting--I definitely had those gifts--but well...maybe I'll pull it off if I get recycled (as I suspect I will be).
Oh dammit I might be born in Iran and brainwashed---ok maybe I'll be a dog or a cow oknevermind...
I'm still here so far so okbye
Friday, March 29, 2019
I Love the American Legion. And Jerry. And Gina(sp?)
I stopped again at my "home" American Legion (Post 11 NC). Jerry and his (bartender) wife Gina are just amazing people (you/Bev would love them).
After being stifled on-line, I followed on-line instructions to seek emergency financial aid through my home post.
Gena (sp?) spent 30-45 minutes on her phone trying to just get my membership number (long story)...
They knew I was looking for emergency financial aid, of course, but I'm proud to say that I never went into much detail or put them in an awkward position...
Anyway, I got blasted and stuffed for 25 bucks (including Gena's tip)...as Jerry again took me to a small building in back after the bar closed and fed me 3 more free beers and four sausages (which I took to go).
I gotta tell you guys, I have usually felt smarter than most of the people I have ever met...usually after only a few words.
Not so here!!! Such NICE people, but also SMART people!
Yeah, I feel better now, kinda. My situation is no less hopeless, and suicide is still my probable only way out...but right now my heart is light. I am happy, because I got to see Jerry and Gina again.
No offense you guys, but to you I'm just "Rob". These people just met me, so I guess I made a better first impression, or something.
That Jerry...crap we talked time-travel and sociology and politics and history and stuff...we disagreed sometimes, but it was never a contest, ya know?
...no really: I mean here and there I changed his mind, and he changed mine about something, and we TAUGHT eachother stuff! Imagine that!!!
But I digress: If I kill myself Jerry and Gina at American Legion Post 11 in NC are people you could talk to (if it's needful).
Okbye
After being stifled on-line, I followed on-line instructions to seek emergency financial aid through my home post.
Gena (sp?) spent 30-45 minutes on her phone trying to just get my membership number (long story)...
They knew I was looking for emergency financial aid, of course, but I'm proud to say that I never went into much detail or put them in an awkward position...
Anyway, I got blasted and stuffed for 25 bucks (including Gena's tip)...as Jerry again took me to a small building in back after the bar closed and fed me 3 more free beers and four sausages (which I took to go).
I gotta tell you guys, I have usually felt smarter than most of the people I have ever met...usually after only a few words.
Not so here!!! Such NICE people, but also SMART people!
Yeah, I feel better now, kinda. My situation is no less hopeless, and suicide is still my probable only way out...but right now my heart is light. I am happy, because I got to see Jerry and Gina again.
No offense you guys, but to you I'm just "Rob". These people just met me, so I guess I made a better first impression, or something.
That Jerry...crap we talked time-travel and sociology and politics and history and stuff...we disagreed sometimes, but it was never a contest, ya know?
...no really: I mean here and there I changed his mind, and he changed mine about something, and we TAUGHT eachother stuff! Imagine that!!!
But I digress: If I kill myself Jerry and Gina at American Legion Post 11 in NC are people you could talk to (if it's needful).
Okbye
Deeper and Deeper
I have 188.00 left. My last paycheck was on 3/13. CLC is being patient about their 400.00.
It's cool to know I can pull the plug at any time. I'm not going to live like a monk when it won't do me any good. I'm going to live, and not suffer.
I'll hit an American Legion tonight and use my Rewards points for a hotel tomorrow...and go to a bar theređź ´đź–•.
Korena said my withheld check was "in the mail". Another lie. When she started another one of her "sick of your attitude" lectures I think I TOLD her I would kill myself in her truck, so she lied about a check to back me off.
She's been nice to me since. But she still pays me 40cpm and steals from me (see "lost toll receipts, 12 volt cooler").
Do you know that she has never admitted she was wrong, about anything? Nor apologized. EVER.
Ask a shrink about that!
It's cool to know I can pull the plug at any time. I'm not going to live like a monk when it won't do me any good. I'm going to live, and not suffer.
I'll hit an American Legion tonight and use my Rewards points for a hotel tomorrow...and go to a bar theređź ´đź–•.
Korena said my withheld check was "in the mail". Another lie. When she started another one of her "sick of your attitude" lectures I think I TOLD her I would kill myself in her truck, so she lied about a check to back me off.
She's been nice to me since. But she still pays me 40cpm and steals from me (see "lost toll receipts, 12 volt cooler").
Do you know that she has never admitted she was wrong, about anything? Nor apologized. EVER.
Ask a shrink about that!
Sunday, March 24, 2019
Robert: I'm Going to Tell You Something:
I have an outsranding balance with clc (about 375.00) for some of my hotel bills. I'll have to call them and Sprint tomorrow to "make arrangements.
I'm 5 months delinquent on my Corporate fees and UPS Box.
Please minimize my weekly payments and defer the first two.
I can't fathom how I'm still here.
I sent the above email to Korena/Kate this morning after I got the email from CLC. Predictably, she called me 5 minutes later with "Robert: I'm going to tell you something: blahblah sick of your attitude blahblah"
And I lost it too. Ed remember Mom and Dad? I never had to out-shout anybody like that, including Teri, in my whole life--ever--except for that evil vicious bitch!
She hung up on me. That's a victory, since I'm not ALLOWED to hang up on her. I have to listen to the lengthy conclusion of her irrational, dishonest RANT and answer her "is that understood" with a meek "yes".
Ed I owe you 10k and you probably have some cause here:
I can't prove that she promised me 48 cents/mile but can tell you that company drivers are not supposed to pay for hotels during repairs. The truck owner is (or should be) responsible for putting the driver in the hotel when the truck is down.
Forcing him to spend his own money on top of his lost revenues amounts to THEFT. I'm in essence paying some of the expenses directly related to HER truck!!!
I refer not to this latest disaster, as I caused this damage to HER truck, but of all the other times I've been forced into hotels near New Castle or Newark DE waiting for repairs:
Most of which I could have had done cheaper and faster on the road. She doesn't trust anyone (including ME, of course: you know how sneaky and selfish I am), and uses Bergeys exlusively because she gets to look them in the eye when she pays her bill).
Bergeys is the place that blames ECU malfunctions and starter failures on my electric cooler! The ECU required a tow and I had to hit a hotel in New York. Then a broken battery cable cost me another day in Indiana. And it was loose battery cables all along.
But I pick up the truck and she asks me "you don't have a refrigerator or anything" my GOD:!$%×÷,?)&:€!!! Anyhow that fucking cooler thing and the unadulterated INSANITY of her and this situation has a lot to do with my current state of mind.
I've never met a less reasonable or rational person in my life, and that INCLUDES when I ran the psyche pod at the County Jail!
Anyhow yeah 40 cents a mile AND hotels when being repaired TOO see why I'm fucking broke and still hit fucking bars anyway?
Oh, and they had withheld a paycheck from me, which I might get tomorrow. Maybe.
For the first couple days so far I got 2 for 1.00 hot dogs at Speedway. That and some almonds I had have fed me so far. I got 10.00 in Pilot points today, and can use them for dollar mcDonalds and stuff.
But I'm way early for my trailer pickup tomorrow so I'll go to Ruby Tuesdays now.
UPDATE: I blew 60 bucks getting hammered (and fed) at Ruby Tuesdays. I do not feel guilty at all.
I will NOT be homeless again. I will NOT go back to where I was. I have accepted suicide as my last resort, and will LIVE as well as I can (as pitiful as that is) until then.
I will fight, until the end...
UPDATE: I blew 60 bucks getting hammered (and fed) at Ruby Tuesdays. I do not feel guilty at all.
I will NOT be homeless again. I will NOT go back to where I was. I have accepted suicide as my last resort, and will LIVE as well as I can (as pitiful as that is) until then.
I will fight, until the end...
Saturday, March 23, 2019
Back to Hell
In 20 minutes or so I check out and go get the truck back. I hope she didn't fix all the other minor dings and charge me for them too...but I bet she did.
Otherwise, I feel marginally better, and am ready to rock and roll.
It's all I can do, and at least I can actually do it now. It makes me feel less helpless.
See, that's my nature. I'm hard wired not to give up, and to keep getting back up. I'll do it until it won't work any more.
If I kill myself, it will simply be a rational decision.
"Chemical imbalance"...to this day, she can't comprehend what part she had in my previous attempt! Amazing!
Otherwise, I feel marginally better, and am ready to rock and roll.
It's all I can do, and at least I can actually do it now. It makes me feel less helpless.
See, that's my nature. I'm hard wired not to give up, and to keep getting back up. I'll do it until it won't work any more.
If I kill myself, it will simply be a rational decision.
"Chemical imbalance"...to this day, she can't comprehend what part she had in my previous attempt! Amazing!
Friday, March 22, 2019
Coping
I'm at McClarens Pub now. Michaels is out of Coors Lite.
Yeah I'm supposed to be "responsible" and not spend a dime, but fuck that.
Everything on TV reminds me of how fucked I am. People living normal lives. What I once had and will never have again. The cop shows have plenty of homeless people, so they're reminding me of where I'm headed if I don't just check out.
It's not a fucking chemical imbalance. It is despair. All I can do to escape it, temporarily, is my little bar/beer/Browns ritual.
I was okay until I smashed up HER truck, and missed all this time. Now I'm doomed.
And I have no home, or privacy, or control--and the hell with you if you think my drinking some beer is irresponsible. Can't I fucking have ANYTHING? Anything at all?
About every other trucker in the USA gets to go HOME sometimes, AND drink some beer sometimes, and put their kids through college and stuff!
I know I'll run out of what little money I have AGAIN, but I'll cash my Pilot points and buy RAMAN NOODLES AGAIN FOR CRYING OUT LOUD and right now don't GIVE A SHIT.
If you don't understand this, you need a brain transplant! I'm SICK of STRUGGLING just to fucking SUBSIST! Putting off and stalling bills, swirling ever deeper...
And you know what Korena would tell me if I told her this again, Ed? She's say I should "borrow from your brother" AGAIN.
You're just one big ATM, bro! I tell her "I've hit my limit with these guys! He has to stop this at some point and I don't blame him!"
"But he's family!"
Oh, but now she knows about BEV, so ok it's HER fault, because YOU would otherwise keep throwing money at me til YOU went broke JFC I can't fathom her!
How 'bout paying for my hotel when the truck is down and paying me a decent wage like you said you would?
No TA or PETRO or even other Volvo dealer for her, even for routine repairs. No I have to come here to New Castle and I NEVER get kicked out of the truck for less than two days...
That's 50/night for the damn hotel, and I could get the majority of these repairs done on the road without even missing a night!
50/night, often unneccesarily, because she is paranoid about who fixes the truck!
And the people who fix her truck charge her 130/hr for labor and blame my goddamn 12-volt cooler for every electrical problem the truck has! In other words, she SHOULD'NT trust them!!! She SHOULD trust ME!
See why I'm going nuts? Try dealing with that for a decade or so!
Screw it I only meant to explain why I say go jump in the lake if you begrudge this homeless perpetually broke plantation slave a few beers at a bar no matter how dire his situation.
I'll blog about the Browns now.
Yeah I'm supposed to be "responsible" and not spend a dime, but fuck that.
Everything on TV reminds me of how fucked I am. People living normal lives. What I once had and will never have again. The cop shows have plenty of homeless people, so they're reminding me of where I'm headed if I don't just check out.
It's not a fucking chemical imbalance. It is despair. All I can do to escape it, temporarily, is my little bar/beer/Browns ritual.
I was okay until I smashed up HER truck, and missed all this time. Now I'm doomed.
And I have no home, or privacy, or control--and the hell with you if you think my drinking some beer is irresponsible. Can't I fucking have ANYTHING? Anything at all?
About every other trucker in the USA gets to go HOME sometimes, AND drink some beer sometimes, and put their kids through college and stuff!
I know I'll run out of what little money I have AGAIN, but I'll cash my Pilot points and buy RAMAN NOODLES AGAIN FOR CRYING OUT LOUD and right now don't GIVE A SHIT.
If you don't understand this, you need a brain transplant! I'm SICK of STRUGGLING just to fucking SUBSIST! Putting off and stalling bills, swirling ever deeper...
And you know what Korena would tell me if I told her this again, Ed? She's say I should "borrow from your brother" AGAIN.
You're just one big ATM, bro! I tell her "I've hit my limit with these guys! He has to stop this at some point and I don't blame him!"
"But he's family!"
Oh, but now she knows about BEV, so ok it's HER fault, because YOU would otherwise keep throwing money at me til YOU went broke JFC I can't fathom her!
How 'bout paying for my hotel when the truck is down and paying me a decent wage like you said you would?
No TA or PETRO or even other Volvo dealer for her, even for routine repairs. No I have to come here to New Castle and I NEVER get kicked out of the truck for less than two days...
That's 50/night for the damn hotel, and I could get the majority of these repairs done on the road without even missing a night!
50/night, often unneccesarily, because she is paranoid about who fixes the truck!
And the people who fix her truck charge her 130/hr for labor and blame my goddamn 12-volt cooler for every electrical problem the truck has! In other words, she SHOULD'NT trust them!!! She SHOULD trust ME!
See why I'm going nuts? Try dealing with that for a decade or so!
Screw it I only meant to explain why I say go jump in the lake if you begrudge this homeless perpetually broke plantation slave a few beers at a bar no matter how dire his situation.
I'll blog about the Browns now.
Make it Saturday. And Broke. AGAIN.
There is no hold in my bank account from CLC. When I check out, my hotel bill will come off my available balance. I might have 40 bucks left.
I'll get the truck on saturday, and deadhead to Georgia for a trailer. Somehow I'll have to make it to NEXT tuesday...
God I'm so sick of this.
I'll get the truck on saturday, and deadhead to Georgia for a trailer. Somehow I'll have to make it to NEXT tuesday...
God I'm so sick of this.
Thursday, March 21, 2019
My Name is Toby
It's thursday, and the truck is supposed to be finished tomorrow. I will have about 500.00 left. I won't get paid this week, so I have to make that last 2 weeks.
Meanwhile, on the 25th I have to beg Sprint to put off my (incredible) 188.00 bill for as long as possible.
Don't forget the approximately 1100.00 I'm 5 months overdue on for my mailbox and with Nevada, and my 100.00 monthly payment on my defaulted dental debt.
Did I mention that I've been filling a rotten tooth with "water weld" for the last 7 months?
I will sneak my 12-volt cooler back into the truck (shhh) and save myself a bunch on food.
When I go back, she will lecture me on my terrible attitude, how the inside of HER TRUCK is a "disaster area" she is ashamed of people seeing (bullshit. It's not up to Felix Unger's standards, but it's closer to that than Oscar Madison's. She goes past the front and "inspects" my personal space in the sleeper. On this whole fucking planet, I can't even have that little cubby-hole to myself).
Three years and three months, and I'm deeper in debt and minus my trucker GPS...
She won't have a Cab Card for me again. This was the fifth time I've been in deep trouble for not having one. The first two times, she screamed at me that my registration was my cab card and argued with the DOT cops too.
EVERY over the road truck in the US is issued a cab card. The cab card lists the states the truck is apportioned (allowed to operate) in.
The DRIVER is responsible for this document, and I can just about guarantee you that she will tell me, once again, that I will get it later, and send me out there to get in trouble yet AGAIN.
I will start to say that this is unaccep--and she will instantly start screaming at me again.
Oh, and she will also probably forbid me to park at any American Legions in the future (you recall, she dictates where I park overnight, too right?)
Normally, her insults and accusations are all delusional lies, but now, finally, I caused this damage to her truck and she has that on me, which is very, very bad for me...I can't even defend myself any more.
To top it off, I will be paying the 8500.00 off in weekly installments. If I went deeper in debt in over three years in HER TRUCK, what hope is left to me now?
Without my laptop, I can't play Cid Meier's Civ 5, and I live a life of quiet desperation. So I (shh) park near bars sometimes to escape this cage.
In that hotel room in PA where I tried to check out the first time, I was eating Raman Noodles, 1.00 hot dogs at the Speedway, and 1.00 burgers at McDonalds, and each and every week being told to vacate my room before my rent was finally paid (usually a day or two late).
I won't go back there. I have no home. No apartment or house. None of those expenses. I should be able to find some solace drinking some beer and blogging about my Cleveland Browns a few nights a week...
On my PERSONAL time. On my TIME OFF-DUTY. In what is supposed to be a fucking free country, in which slavery is illegal.
I was calling the Salvation Army and churches trying to find someplace else in that room 3 years and 3 months ago.
It's not that bad this time, except my future looks even worse.
I'm going to Mitchell's for Happy Hour today to blog about the Browns, and tomorrow will go back to hell. If she's not too vicious or nasty, I won't kill myself in HER TRUCK right then.
I'll get back on that hampster wheel and my life of quiet desperation and unneccessary stress without a cab card or fuel on weekends...
I'll do that until I lose my mailbox or phone service or go hungry, and then I will decide not to wake up again.
In case that happens suddenly, I'll text a link to this site to my peeps. The digits I'll send will be my First National Bank (FNB) card number, the pin to my I-phone, and stuff like that.
My possessions aren't worth fighting over, but for what it's worth, I want my brother Richard Edward to get all of it.
Ed, I know you're not litigeous, but a good lawyer might find enough here for you to go after Korena, as she is why I haven't been able to pay you what I owe you.
But I was serious when I said that she has no moral compass or sense of right and wrong: it is possible that she will try to collect the balance of what I owe her from YOU.
At the very least, you can use what's in here to fight her.
I'm sorry, E. Driving for anybody else I've ever driven for, you'd have had your money back in 6 months.
I'd have had Cid Meier and not stop at bars so much. I'd have hired a tax lawyer and...well no sense dwelling on it (now I am depressed!)
But you see why I am almost as glad to be hurting my owner as I am saddened to have let you down.
Most likely, this isn't my last entry.
Meanwhile, on the 25th I have to beg Sprint to put off my (incredible) 188.00 bill for as long as possible.
Don't forget the approximately 1100.00 I'm 5 months overdue on for my mailbox and with Nevada, and my 100.00 monthly payment on my defaulted dental debt.
Did I mention that I've been filling a rotten tooth with "water weld" for the last 7 months?
I will sneak my 12-volt cooler back into the truck (shhh) and save myself a bunch on food.
When I go back, she will lecture me on my terrible attitude, how the inside of HER TRUCK is a "disaster area" she is ashamed of people seeing (bullshit. It's not up to Felix Unger's standards, but it's closer to that than Oscar Madison's. She goes past the front and "inspects" my personal space in the sleeper. On this whole fucking planet, I can't even have that little cubby-hole to myself).
Three years and three months, and I'm deeper in debt and minus my trucker GPS...
She won't have a Cab Card for me again. This was the fifth time I've been in deep trouble for not having one. The first two times, she screamed at me that my registration was my cab card and argued with the DOT cops too.
EVERY over the road truck in the US is issued a cab card. The cab card lists the states the truck is apportioned (allowed to operate) in.
The DRIVER is responsible for this document, and I can just about guarantee you that she will tell me, once again, that I will get it later, and send me out there to get in trouble yet AGAIN.
I will start to say that this is unaccep--and she will instantly start screaming at me again.
Oh, and she will also probably forbid me to park at any American Legions in the future (you recall, she dictates where I park overnight, too right?)
Normally, her insults and accusations are all delusional lies, but now, finally, I caused this damage to her truck and she has that on me, which is very, very bad for me...I can't even defend myself any more.
To top it off, I will be paying the 8500.00 off in weekly installments. If I went deeper in debt in over three years in HER TRUCK, what hope is left to me now?
Without my laptop, I can't play Cid Meier's Civ 5, and I live a life of quiet desperation. So I (shh) park near bars sometimes to escape this cage.
In that hotel room in PA where I tried to check out the first time, I was eating Raman Noodles, 1.00 hot dogs at the Speedway, and 1.00 burgers at McDonalds, and each and every week being told to vacate my room before my rent was finally paid (usually a day or two late).
I won't go back there. I have no home. No apartment or house. None of those expenses. I should be able to find some solace drinking some beer and blogging about my Cleveland Browns a few nights a week...
On my PERSONAL time. On my TIME OFF-DUTY. In what is supposed to be a fucking free country, in which slavery is illegal.
I was calling the Salvation Army and churches trying to find someplace else in that room 3 years and 3 months ago.
It's not that bad this time, except my future looks even worse.
I'm going to Mitchell's for Happy Hour today to blog about the Browns, and tomorrow will go back to hell. If she's not too vicious or nasty, I won't kill myself in HER TRUCK right then.
I'll get back on that hampster wheel and my life of quiet desperation and unneccessary stress without a cab card or fuel on weekends...
I'll do that until I lose my mailbox or phone service or go hungry, and then I will decide not to wake up again.
In case that happens suddenly, I'll text a link to this site to my peeps. The digits I'll send will be my First National Bank (FNB) card number, the pin to my I-phone, and stuff like that.
My possessions aren't worth fighting over, but for what it's worth, I want my brother Richard Edward to get all of it.
Ed, I know you're not litigeous, but a good lawyer might find enough here for you to go after Korena, as she is why I haven't been able to pay you what I owe you.
But I was serious when I said that she has no moral compass or sense of right and wrong: it is possible that she will try to collect the balance of what I owe her from YOU.
At the very least, you can use what's in here to fight her.
I'm sorry, E. Driving for anybody else I've ever driven for, you'd have had your money back in 6 months.
I'd have had Cid Meier and not stop at bars so much. I'd have hired a tax lawyer and...well no sense dwelling on it (now I am depressed!)
But you see why I am almost as glad to be hurting my owner as I am saddened to have let you down.
Most likely, this isn't my last entry.
Tuesday, March 19, 2019
Oops!
I accidentally posted one of my Brownssanity posts here, and haven't yet found a way to relocate it.
It might be just as well, since it should prove that my suicidal tendancies have nothing whatsoever to do with a "chemical imbalance" in my brain or something.
That's Korena: After everything she had put me though, and the contract she had dictated to me, and all the years I had worked with her, my attempted suicide looked like a "chemical imbalance" to her!
Somehow, she managed to never KNOW me! She fucking DRIVES me to kill myself, and then tells me to go to the VA to fix myself!!!
Nothing is EVER her fault! She is NEVER wrong! Or remorseful. She has never admitted that she was wrong (let alone apologized) since I met her.
There is a WHOLE LOT WRONG with her.
You guys will detect it almost instantly if you have to deal with her. She'll try to pretend to be reasonable at first, but she'll lose her mind as soon as you question her beyond her intitial distortions and lies.
And listen, Ed: She is utterly amoral. She just might sue YOU over the debt my suicide might leave her with! Korena has no moral compass.
I can't tell you how many times she's compelled me to lie for her...I'm not a liar--she's tortured me that way, and (narcissistic projection) seems to think I'm as dishonest as she is!
Anyway, I'm the same guy I always was. I should still have 500 bucks when I get back in my truck. I will restore my hidden cooler (shh!) and buy some food.
I might even pay my Sprint bill on time (we'll see). And I'll run my ass off, as usual.
But the math says that paying off this new debt will drive me under, and I won't accept it.
Suicide is easy. I can take or leave it. It beats prison or homelessness, and obviously I have no hope of ever repaying you, my beloved brother.
It's not "clinical". It's simply a logical option for me, to escape further agony and, by the way, free YOU GUYS of at least worrying about me!
Unmistakably, Korena put me here. I should have been able to pay this debt off. I should have a laptop, and you should have been paid in full.
Most company drivers have homes or apartments. Cars. Families. And after three years, I'm still here?
Sue HER.
It might be just as well, since it should prove that my suicidal tendancies have nothing whatsoever to do with a "chemical imbalance" in my brain or something.
That's Korena: After everything she had put me though, and the contract she had dictated to me, and all the years I had worked with her, my attempted suicide looked like a "chemical imbalance" to her!
Somehow, she managed to never KNOW me! She fucking DRIVES me to kill myself, and then tells me to go to the VA to fix myself!!!
Nothing is EVER her fault! She is NEVER wrong! Or remorseful. She has never admitted that she was wrong (let alone apologized) since I met her.
There is a WHOLE LOT WRONG with her.
You guys will detect it almost instantly if you have to deal with her. She'll try to pretend to be reasonable at first, but she'll lose her mind as soon as you question her beyond her intitial distortions and lies.
And listen, Ed: She is utterly amoral. She just might sue YOU over the debt my suicide might leave her with! Korena has no moral compass.
I can't tell you how many times she's compelled me to lie for her...I'm not a liar--she's tortured me that way, and (narcissistic projection) seems to think I'm as dishonest as she is!
Anyway, I'm the same guy I always was. I should still have 500 bucks when I get back in my truck. I will restore my hidden cooler (shh!) and buy some food.
I might even pay my Sprint bill on time (we'll see). And I'll run my ass off, as usual.
But the math says that paying off this new debt will drive me under, and I won't accept it.
Suicide is easy. I can take or leave it. It beats prison or homelessness, and obviously I have no hope of ever repaying you, my beloved brother.
It's not "clinical". It's simply a logical option for me, to escape further agony and, by the way, free YOU GUYS of at least worrying about me!
Unmistakably, Korena put me here. I should have been able to pay this debt off. I should have a laptop, and you should have been paid in full.
Most company drivers have homes or apartments. Cars. Families. And after three years, I'm still here?
Sue HER.
More Background
You need to understand this: Since early 2016, I've been driving HER truck. I owed my brother 10,000.00. I have repaid him 500.00.
I had some dental work, and defaulted on a payment plan because I WENT BROKE and missed an autopayment. This went to collections, and now I'm paying 1100.00 off at 100.00/month.
I had to call them to ask them to skip this month's payment. I asked Sprint to delay this month's payment til next month (setting up a balloon payment).
I'm 4 months overdue for my mailbox payment and Nevada Corporate fees; around 1100.00.
I lost my laptop before I lost my own truck, and have never been able to replace it. My Trucker GPS went down, and I can't even replace that.
It got worse when Korena stole my cooler, and I was forced to spend all that money on (bad) retail food.
It would be better if she had ever paid me what she had promised me, or paid for my hotel stays when the truck got repaired. That's pretty standard for company drivers.
We are not supposed to dig into our own pockets to pay for lodging when forced to leave our trucks.
I think I was making 42 cents a mile when I left USA Truck THIRTEEN YEARS ago, and she pays me 40 cpm in 2019?
This time isn't as bad as it was in that hotel room in 2016. I'm not forced to BEG her to cover my hotel bill (with money I had sent to her from the sale of my truck). She's not calling and emailing me daily to insult amd degrade me and shout me down.
I'm not broke YET, and can still go to Michell's for their dirt-cheap Happy Hour and blog about the Browns.
That's another thing: Korena tries to dictate how I spend my personal time too. Where am I? Am I drinking and then sleeping in HER truck?
She thinks I'm an idiot. Tells me that's illegal. Ask a cop about that!
She's a micromanager and a control-freak, and an almost compulsive liar.
I'm going back to hell, and I'm so very, very tired of it. I will find no mercy. There will be no reprieve. My future is to work, and be treated like a plantation slave, until I die.
Living a life of quiet desperation (and unneccessary DRAMA) to the end.
The good news is that I can afford Rescue Tape and plastic bags.
I had some dental work, and defaulted on a payment plan because I WENT BROKE and missed an autopayment. This went to collections, and now I'm paying 1100.00 off at 100.00/month.
I had to call them to ask them to skip this month's payment. I asked Sprint to delay this month's payment til next month (setting up a balloon payment).
I'm 4 months overdue for my mailbox payment and Nevada Corporate fees; around 1100.00.
I lost my laptop before I lost my own truck, and have never been able to replace it. My Trucker GPS went down, and I can't even replace that.
It got worse when Korena stole my cooler, and I was forced to spend all that money on (bad) retail food.
It would be better if she had ever paid me what she had promised me, or paid for my hotel stays when the truck got repaired. That's pretty standard for company drivers.
We are not supposed to dig into our own pockets to pay for lodging when forced to leave our trucks.
I think I was making 42 cents a mile when I left USA Truck THIRTEEN YEARS ago, and she pays me 40 cpm in 2019?
This time isn't as bad as it was in that hotel room in 2016. I'm not forced to BEG her to cover my hotel bill (with money I had sent to her from the sale of my truck). She's not calling and emailing me daily to insult amd degrade me and shout me down.
I'm not broke YET, and can still go to Michell's for their dirt-cheap Happy Hour and blog about the Browns.
That's another thing: Korena tries to dictate how I spend my personal time too. Where am I? Am I drinking and then sleeping in HER truck?
She thinks I'm an idiot. Tells me that's illegal. Ask a cop about that!
She's a micromanager and a control-freak, and an almost compulsive liar.
I'm going back to hell, and I'm so very, very tired of it. I will find no mercy. There will be no reprieve. My future is to work, and be treated like a plantation slave, until I die.
Living a life of quiet desperation (and unneccessary DRAMA) to the end.
The good news is that I can afford Rescue Tape and plastic bags.
Monday, March 18, 2019
Falling Harder
The bill for the truck will be 8,500.00. I will need to sign a legal document obliging me to pay off a loan Korena will take out to pay it.
That's fair, but I can't imagine how I will be able to pay it.
Korena told me she would pay me 48 cents per mile, and she pays me 40 instead.
Every time the truck is down for repairs, I'm required to pay for my own hotel.
I had to sign an agreement to pay off my dentist in installments. I'm 4 months delinquent with the State of Nevada (750.00) for my corporation, and as long overdue for my UPS Box. I STILL owe you (Ed) 9500.00.
I've been literally broke a few times.
Now the IRS is calling me AGAIN.
Korena was trying not to cry about this trouble I've caused her, but I have a hard time feeling sorry for her.
You know, as usual, she said the inside of the truck looks like a bomb went off inside it, and again that I need to clean it thoroughly.
First, her standards are rediculous. She has to be talking about my bed not having been made, my stuff stashed in the upper bunk, etc.
Second, I live in that truck and have a right to privacy. I'm almost 63 years old, and she's yelling at me like I'm an 11 year-old living in her house.
She's been degrading and insulting me this way for a long time, just as I knew she would when she put me in HER TRUCK. That's why I tried to kill myself in that hotel room, after I lost my own truck.
I was entering slavery, and knew it.
I never need home-time. I set up my mailbox where it is so I would never have to go even one mile out of route to pick up my mail.
Any sane dispatcher would appreciate this, but Korena SCREAMED at me for picking up my mail after three months without asking permission!
She always blames a customer or the carrier for this rediculous crap. That time, she blamed New World.
She blames the carrier for not allowing me to fuel from friday to midnight sunday each week. It's actually her irrational compulsion to max out each and every settlement check.
Like she told me I'd be paid 48 cpm, she told me I'd have EZPass. Then she told me I couldn't have it because I'd abuse it. ME.
She's paid THOUSANDS by foregoing the 15% savings. Brakes, the drive train, fuel; thousands of dollars just to keep me in my place.
I've had toll receipts disappear; once from inside the envelope I left her paperwork in! She's burned me out of all that money!
Her crazy service writer blamed my 12-volt (cigarette plug) COOLER for ECU malfunctions and a starter failure! She STOLE my cooler the first time!
She won't listen to reason! The service writer explained to me that since they couldn't find anything else wrong, it had to be the cooler.
The ECU failures started shortly after I left the Dealer. It was 2 LOOSE BATTERY CABLES. I fixed it myself!
I had 13 volts when the starter failed. I'd only been parked for 30 minutes. There's a 20 amp fuse. It's not POSSIBLE that any 12-volt appliance could cause these issues!
But NOW, i can't have a freaking cooler and have to spend 100/week on food!
Blaming ME for the ECU and the starter and everything else that ever happened to the truck...
Well this time it IS my fault.
...and now she will remind me of it constantly, every time I get UPPITY.
I plan to try to make it out of this mess, but if I can't I'm going to hurt her as bad as I can on my way out.
Korena is evil. She is cruel, merciless, and a monster.
That's fair, but I can't imagine how I will be able to pay it.
Korena told me she would pay me 48 cents per mile, and she pays me 40 instead.
Every time the truck is down for repairs, I'm required to pay for my own hotel.
I had to sign an agreement to pay off my dentist in installments. I'm 4 months delinquent with the State of Nevada (750.00) for my corporation, and as long overdue for my UPS Box. I STILL owe you (Ed) 9500.00.
I've been literally broke a few times.
Now the IRS is calling me AGAIN.
Korena was trying not to cry about this trouble I've caused her, but I have a hard time feeling sorry for her.
You know, as usual, she said the inside of the truck looks like a bomb went off inside it, and again that I need to clean it thoroughly.
First, her standards are rediculous. She has to be talking about my bed not having been made, my stuff stashed in the upper bunk, etc.
Second, I live in that truck and have a right to privacy. I'm almost 63 years old, and she's yelling at me like I'm an 11 year-old living in her house.
She's been degrading and insulting me this way for a long time, just as I knew she would when she put me in HER TRUCK. That's why I tried to kill myself in that hotel room, after I lost my own truck.
I was entering slavery, and knew it.
I never need home-time. I set up my mailbox where it is so I would never have to go even one mile out of route to pick up my mail.
Any sane dispatcher would appreciate this, but Korena SCREAMED at me for picking up my mail after three months without asking permission!
She always blames a customer or the carrier for this rediculous crap. That time, she blamed New World.
She blames the carrier for not allowing me to fuel from friday to midnight sunday each week. It's actually her irrational compulsion to max out each and every settlement check.
Like she told me I'd be paid 48 cpm, she told me I'd have EZPass. Then she told me I couldn't have it because I'd abuse it. ME.
She's paid THOUSANDS by foregoing the 15% savings. Brakes, the drive train, fuel; thousands of dollars just to keep me in my place.
I've had toll receipts disappear; once from inside the envelope I left her paperwork in! She's burned me out of all that money!
Her crazy service writer blamed my 12-volt (cigarette plug) COOLER for ECU malfunctions and a starter failure! She STOLE my cooler the first time!
She won't listen to reason! The service writer explained to me that since they couldn't find anything else wrong, it had to be the cooler.
The ECU failures started shortly after I left the Dealer. It was 2 LOOSE BATTERY CABLES. I fixed it myself!
I had 13 volts when the starter failed. I'd only been parked for 30 minutes. There's a 20 amp fuse. It's not POSSIBLE that any 12-volt appliance could cause these issues!
But NOW, i can't have a freaking cooler and have to spend 100/week on food!
Blaming ME for the ECU and the starter and everything else that ever happened to the truck...
Well this time it IS my fault.
...and now she will remind me of it constantly, every time I get UPPITY.
I plan to try to make it out of this mess, but if I can't I'm going to hurt her as bad as I can on my way out.
Korena is evil. She is cruel, merciless, and a monster.
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