Screech!

She called.  It's tomorrow now.  I started telling her I needed to pay rent, and she jumped me with her no money shit.

It's not her fault.  I did this and that for you you don't appreciate anything

For crying out loud I'm desperate what the fuck.  She's talking about me trying not to get kicked out like some kind of fucking insult.  God I can't stand this shit!  Now I'm supposed to drive HER truck?

I told her when she started her usual insulting, degrading, self-righteous rant that I would hang myself if I got evicted, and she says "don't give me your shit" and resumes ranting.

I hang up on her.  She calls back and resumes ranting.  I don't appreciate anything.  The last thing I yelled before I hung up on her was "God Dammit yes I do!"

Buncha shit.  I went ahead and applied to a couple companies, and for unemployment, but it's too late.

I'm not bluffing.  Read my earlier entries and save my emails.  Tomorrow might be the end for me.

She doesn't give a shit about me or the situation I'm in.  I appreciate everything she did for me, but she was protecting me as an asset.  I'm sick of being insulted and repeating thank you thank you yes I do honest no really and getting this shit over and over again.

No she's not a bad person.  And I'm sure Kate is a good mommy and stuff.  But my God...My God are you getting sick of me bitching about it? Well multiply that by a hundred and I CAN'T JUST LOG OFF!!!

Kate texted.  She'll fax paperwork in the morning then do my "travel arrangements".  I was thinking they wouldn't believe me.  The prospect of losing a driver must alarm them enough that they might shake 40 bucks loose to make sure.

Did you read that?  40 -bucks, after all those repairs?  

And all those csa points were all my fault, of course.  Doesn't matter that Northern Steel fabricated half of it.  We can't check our own brake lights.  We can look at the brakes but not determine if they're still properly adjusted.  It's not even possible without a caliper and two people.  We get inspected every 15,000 miles, or after we've had to brake extra hard, or if we feel a vibration or see uneven wear (you get it).

Fifteen thousand miles.  Not weekly.  Weekly is a waste of time and money.

She says it's to make sure the truck is kept clean.  I don't mind being compelled not to be a slob because that's good for me, but what tf-- is she going to have mechanics check to see if my bed is made?  Is she going to make me go to Delaware so she can look inside?

If she has me send pictures, I can handle it.  But jeez...wow.

Kate texted that Korena didn't want to talk to me.  Good.  I emailed Kate my situation.  If she does the smart thing, I will rent a car tomorrow and leave.  If they're determined to save 300 bucks, she'll either have to pay more rent while her lost revenues pile up, or lose me.

And she thinks if I let her manage my money I'd have a lot more of it.

Of course, she might not pay.  In which case, I can't express how sorry I am, and hope you forgive me.

I haven't eaten today.  No appetite.  

Anyway just in case, you'll find everything on my kindle.  I have a little left in draftkings and am in a tournament.  As you know, with my luck I will win post-mortem.

I hereby leave everything I own, and grant access to all accounts to my brother Richard Edward.  He can be executor if I have to have one.  Please repay G if you can.  G I'm sorry.

See VA about funeral.  Burn me. Sprinkle my ashes somewhere.  Put "Here lies Murphy" on my headstone if there is one (I don't care).

Not sure where I'll go, but I can't believe I'll just stop.  Don't believe in Hell.  Except here, now.

I kind of think we sort of get absorbed into what we call God or the Force or whatever, and get born again maybe.  Maybe we get second and tenth and seventy fifth chances and stuff.

Did I say I was sorry?  Well I am.  I've said that to Korena around 400 times, and no longer mean it.  The money my truck (NOT I DAMMIT) cost her is a small payback for her vicious cruelty to me when I was at my lowest point.  Please see if you can use her.

She saved me from prison?  I told her how! She was supposed to get my taxes done and didn't.  I paid her a small fortune for it already.  She uses me as a whipping boy.  She tortures me.  I'm sick of getting fucked over then getting blamed for getting fucked over and kicked and stomped on when I'm down.  I'm sick of trying to get up again and again and again and every fucking time getting blamed for it.  I APPRECIATE IT YOU FUCKING VICIOUS RELENTLESSLY CRUEL BITCH.

Well hopefully this isn't my last entry.  If Kate doesn't cover me I'll call local churches.  I do want to see if I win in fantasy, and to watch the Browns next season, and of course to pay all my debts.

If not, good bye.